As I sit here and listen to Sza’s 2017 album Ctrl for the 1200th time I wonder are we all “Ms. 20-something?” Like, I can’t personally be the only one who gets goosebumps and has a bi-weekly breakdown to the last track right?
This got me thinking… I spent my whole childhood pretending I was Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian because that seemed like the absolute dream life, get paid to be pretty and party!? Walk around with so much confidence and power and take every bad thing written or said about you and let it slide right off your back as you went to the next event.
Then I grew up and realized that’s not at all what those women were living and a life that most people don’t ever actually live. However here we all are chasing it, posting on social like were already famous, masking what’s really bothering us with cute pictures from the weekend and honestly, it’s just a case of the twenties. We all kind of have no idea what’s really going on and were just coasting through and trying to make the best of what we have and hoping it brings joy (or jealousy) to others. We’re all having experiences and want them to be important to someone when really they only have to be important to us and that’s what this Sza song taught me. It’s hard as f*ck to be in a constant limbo of people, the future, and finding our true self, and all we really have “Ctrl” of is ourselves.
1 – When are you having children? Do you plan on having children? Don’t you wanna be a mom?
2 – Do you want to get married? When’s the wedding? Time’s ticking… when are you going to settle down?
3 – How’s work going? What’s your career path? I bet you wish you went to college so you’d be further ahead, huh?
If you are a 20- something reading this I hope you know it’s okay and totally normal to be a little lost, or feel like time is passing by too quickly, or feel like you’re not enough. Especially when we are CONSTANTLY getting bombarded with these annoying questions from people we know, strangers on the internet, or even by our peers. I promise you are enough, it’s okay to be a little lost sometimes and time is really just an illusion anyway.
If you aren’t a 20-something reading this (or are and maybe “ahead” of your peers), Take the time to pause before you ask these questions or make comments about any of these topics. There are many reasons many people aren’t rushing to have children, I mean the OCEAN IS ON FIRE, some people realized they can’t be parents, or simply just don’t want to. The same thing goes for marriage and honestly if you’re currently divorced you shouldn’t even touch the question, and for work… if we are not at work do not ask about it unless we bring it up, that should be simple.