To all the people in the Misery Olympics

You ever see or hear something that gets your blood boiling, makes steam come out of your ears and has you left feeling overwhelmed? I know I have!! I used to find something wrong or questionable in so many parts of everyday life, and it finally clicked that maybe MY brain needed some rewiring. I call this the Misery Olympics.

I’m being totally real with y’all when I tell you I wasn’t fun to hang out with, I let my emotions control my life whether they were positive or negative and they were mostly the latter. I attracted a lot of other negative relationships with people, I mean you know what they say misery loves company and boy did I have both. These relationships consisted of friends, family, and honestly strangers. Negativity is like a powerful magnet I swear! You might not even realize you’re making these connections and in turn almost playing a game of the “Misery Olympics” with your “friends.” Now I’m not saying you can’t vent with your girls (or guys) about a shitty day or something that brought you down, but I am saying be mindful of what you’re putting out into the universe. You gotta change your vibration if you wanna attract different things. If every day you wake up and automatically say “I don’t feel great” or “I wish I could stay in bed all day” you’re already telling the universe and your mind what kind of day you plan to have. Whereas if you say “I’m so grateful to have opened my eyes” or “I can’t wait to get my day started” you’re telling your brain I’m ready to go and can’t wait to see what today brings. That’s why (almost) every Monday I post affirmations you can find some here

At first, I didn’t notice my friendships became the “Misery Olympics” and were always feeling down or not fulfilled with the conversations I was having all the time with my “besties.” Naturally, I started to pull away from them thinking that THEY were the problem, I had to swallow the hard pill that it takes two to tango and I was the other part in these dancing duos. I didn’t make that connection until AFTER I pulled away from these people and went thru the times of grieving the loss of friendships, family relationships, and who I was. Yup, I said it, I made being negative my main personality trait because I always seemed to have more friends, go out, and “party” more often and didn’t feel as lonely when I was gossiping, talking down on myself, and expressing my insecurities. I used my negativity as an amour that in my mind was protecting me from others in the way that, If I point out the bad in myself, or make others feel bad for me they won’t be able to hurt me. Trust me when I say that armor was HARD to break down even for myself. I would still find things to nag and complain about to myself resulting in an unhappy lifestyle and a giant weight gain! One day I looked down and saw a number on the scale that bitch slapped me right back to reality and made me see I needed to make a change. I started working out, saying affirmations, finding the good in everything, and letting the bad roll off my back. Listen I know your thinking “letting the bad roll off your back” is easier said than done jess, and yes it does take some time, but why not practice. I’ll give you an example of changing your perspective on a “crappy” situation.

Recently I received a haircut I wasn’t sure about, It wasn’t a “bad haircut” but I did let myself get talked into “embracing the curls” and to be honest, as soon as I pulled out of the hair salons parking lot, I started crying. In the days after, I stopped working out, I stopped saying affirmations, I even stopped posting on Instagram. I felt myself slipping back to more negative thoughts and avoiding the things that I KNEW made me happy. The fourth day after the cut I realized I need to change my mindset on this hair. At first, my anger was directed at the salon because they gave me the haircut until I realized I was upset with myself for not standing up for myself and saying what I wanted.

A hard thing to do when you’re angry or upset is looking at yourself and seeing how YOU contributed to your feelings. However, that’s where we should start, because it’s the only thing we can usually change at the moment. Once I realized that in life, that’s what I started doing in most situations and my life started to change. You know how there’s all this talk about the “main character” lately, you gotta realize you’re the main character in your life and everyone else is the main character in their own life, so do what you can for YOU. We only have so much time on this planet so why spend it filled with negativity at someone else expense?

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